D is for Denmark

When it comes to restaurants in Melbourne, we have so many to choose from we are second to none in the world. However, when it comes to countries staring with "D", those choices are somewhat limited. In fact, limited to three.....Domenican Republic, Djibouti and Denmark (although Deutschland was suggested by a friend!). An internet search later and it soon became obvious there was no choice at all. The only "D" in Melbourne is in fact Denmark House, and their ultra modern restaurant called Dansk.

Located in Little Bourke Street, the restaurant is accessed by a stubborn elevator located beside Chaplins (private) bar and restaurant. No-one to greet us, we ventured to the kitchen itself where a polite young waiter showed us to our lavishly furnished table (Ms X loved the candle holder). Being Ms X's birthday, two glasses of wine and a Carlsberg were ordered, as was the entree which proved to be delicious. Accompanied by Junior Ms X, the three of us shared two SMORREBRODS (open sandwich ) , a sumptuous paneret fiskefillet med remoulade reger og caviar (crumbed fish with remoulade, prawns and caviar), and flaeskesteg med redkal og agurkesalat (roast pork with red cabbage and cucumber salad), both served on a type of pumpernickel bread. We could all have easily had the fiskefillet again as a mains.

Mr X then requested a Tuborg beer, just as four young Danes sat down at the table behind us. The beer finally arrived after a second prompting and the main course was delivered shortly after. All three of us ordered the same thing, dampet snapper filet med smor sauce, rejer, purlog og nye kartofler (steamed snapper with a butter sauce, prawns, chives and new season kipfler potatoes).

Interestingly enough, each plate came with an over-abundance of asparagus tips. They must be cheap in Denmark. In the words of judge Manu, on 'My Kitchen Rules'- it needed a sauce!

Once the meals were over, Ms X senior and Ms X junior paid the obligatory trip to the restrooms, only to emerge with an angelic radiance and an air of Aesop hand wash that stunk the room out. They also mentioned the incense sticks. A bit different to the Bangladeshi restaurant where we shook hands with the cook from the urinal.

Upon leaving the restaurant, we were intrigued with a photo of the one and only Priness Mary, who had graced the Dansk with her presence only 3 short months ago. Lovely lady but awful handwriting.

Scores:        Ambiance       HE: 5 SHE: 7

                    Food             HE: 5 SHE: 4
                    Service:         HE: 6 SHE: 8
                    Accessability  HE: 8 SHE: 8
                    Value:            HE: 4 SHE: 3

A total of 58 now puts it last.

C is for Czech Republic!

What do Ivana Trump, Ivan Lendal, Peter Korda, Hana Mandlikova and Jana Novotna all have in common? In which kingdom did Good King Wenceslas IV rule? In which country does a person who is counting on their fingers, also include their toes: so they have 20 fingers?
The Czech Republic!

So, with all these interesting facts filling our heads it was only fitting that we included the Czech Republic in our alphabeteating adventure- at Koliba

Johnstone Street Collingwood is always going to be tricky on a Friday night but Mr X has the required skills so he's always going to be in that driver's seat and again, he didn't disappoint with a park close by. This time like Santa 'making a list and checking it twice', he checked that parking sign several times to ensure we would not be contibuting to the council bank account again!

Decor....hmm........ gloomy, dark wood, 70s. Undeterred, a pleasant Czech waitress appeared with menus, very extensive menu items listed.

Ms X, who had been the organiser for "C" had already previewed the menu and knew it was to be heavy, heavy heavy so had chosen to eat yoghurt for lunch.
Mr X chose the Ďábelské pikantní topinky (spicy minced beef with cheese on toast- what a surprise!)
Ms X senior and Ms X Jr shared an entree of Utopenec s cibulí a chlebem (sausage with marinated capsicum and onion) Mr X LOVED his whilst the Ms Xs just were't ready for the cold temperature of the Czech snag.

The 'X' family just love things wrapped up- preferably in pastry however when in a Czech Replican restaraunt, then chances are it's going to be wrapped in a POTATO PANCAKE of course. So, chicken wrapped in potato pancake or pork, you guessed it, wrapped in a potato pancake were ordered. Now, if you are looking for a green vegetable side dish, forget it.
There were 3 side dish options- mashed potato, fried potatoes or potato salad. Ms X snr announced the potato salad was delicious despite literally feeling all those spuds attaching themslves to her ankles, her arms, her thighs, her chin..get the picture.

Random comments:  "Despite an extensive czech beer list Feb Fast was maintained by everyone drinking water"
"The pleasant blonde waitress did all the work whilst the brunette one sat on a bench surfing the internet on a laptop"
"The chef appeared in the doorway with an itchy groin that he chose to attend to."

Ms X opted to leave a large portion of her potato feast as she had spied something on the menu that she knew that the Czechs and Slovakians would excel at...

After all their obsession with potatoes, you just gotta forgive the Czechs cos they know how to nail a streudel.

The all important scores:
                      Food       HE: 7 She: 5          Ambience     He: 4 She:4
                      Service    He: 6 She: 8           Accessibility He: 6 She:9
                      Value       He: 7 She: 7
Total score: 63 which places second behind Bangladesh.


(Ms X thinks there needs to be a recount for poor old Afghanistan which was unlucky to have to go first)